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Repost from Alice Bag

me too, Personal Accounts

Some people think that my aggressive tendencies surfaced when I became involved in the punk scene, but they’re wrong. I was still an adolescent when I discovered that aggression, or the threat of violence, could be a powerful defense mechanism. The reason I was labeled as aggressive in the punk scene had to do with my being accustomed to violence and being used to defending myself physically.My childhood was steeped in domestic violence and I was surrounded with gang violence at school. I started to believe that the world was divided into victims and aggressors. I decided that I was never going to be a victim. It seemed like the less painful option. I was still in junior high when a girl in my class was relentlessly taunting me. One day, she pushed me hard as I was walking up the stairs. Fed up, I quickly turned around and shoved my open palm towards her to push her back. As fate would have it, she had a Bic ballpoint pen in her mouth at the time and I shoved it through the back of her throat. From that point on, the school bullies stopped calling me names and throwing things at me. By the time I graduated from jr. high school I had developed a tough exterior.

In 1976, after graduating from Sacred Heart of Mary High School, my parents gave me a choice of a new (used) car or a trip to Europe as a graduation gift. I decide to continue borrowing the old Ford Falcon and see the world. While in Austria, I nearly provoked an international incident when a drunk in a pub grabbed and locked in on my ass like a pit bull. I promptly smacked him across the face and pretty soon all the Americans at my table were yelling at the pub’s regular Austrian customers. We were all thrown out, thanks to me.

Back home, I got a part time job at a flower shop in Montebello. One day, I was packing up a lady’s flower order and as I bent over to get a box, my manager walked behind me and succumbed to an irresistible urge to slap my butt. I, in turn, succumbed to an irresistible urge to slap his face. That sent him scurrying to the back of the store. The customer, an older lady who witnessed the whole scene, told me she was proud of me and that I’d done the right thing. I rang up her order and walked to the back, ready to punch the clock and be sent home. Instead, I got an apology. I figured that maybe violence was not always a bad thing. I wasn’t the type to turn the other cheek, that’s for sure.

The first show the Bags played at the Masque in 1977 was all a blur to me. It was like I blacked out during the set. The reviewer in Slash said that I was yelling at the audience to “MOVE, MOTHERFUCKERS! MOVE!” and it’s true that I couldn’t stand complacent audiences. I needed energy to feed off and so I exhorted the audience to keep up with me. Rather than aggressive, I would describe myself as confrontational and trying to engage the audience, but I suppose it’s all in how you choose to label it. I suspect that if I were a man, I would have been called “intense” or “energetic” but since I am a woman, my attitude seemed to catch some people off guard.

The Bags were the first punk band to headline the Troubadour in 1978, which ended with the place being trashed and our being 86’d from that club. We were subsequently 86’d from Madame Wong’s for a similar reason. The same thing happened with Club 88 when they started having punk shows. The Bags played a few shows there before being 86’d for being “too aggressive.” Although I couldn’t play there, I didn’t hold it against them and I continued to go and spread my love and support to the bands that played there. One night, The Dils were playing. I was dancing in the audience when somebody grabbed my crotch. I looked down and there was a hand clutching me. I grabbed the wrist attached to the offending hand and without missing a pogo beat I turned, jumped into the air, and slammed a hard fist into the pervert’s face. It was a really nice punch too because my whole body went into it. The guy was wearing sunglasses which broke apart, slicing a nasty gash into the flesh around his eye.

After the show, the guy’s buddies were gunning for me. Kickboy (Claude Bessy) stepped in to talk to them and asked me to explain to them what had happened. I gave it to them straight and it seemed they were satisfied with my account as I was allowed to leave the club. Later, we heard that the guy required 22 stitches to close the gash around his eye.

A few days later, I was back at another club I’d been 86’d from: Madame Wong’s. I went to the bathroom and as I was walking out of the stall, a tall Latina put her arm up and blocked my exit. She identified herself as the girlfriend of the man I had injured and told me she was going to kick my ass. She looked like she could do it, too. I washed my hands and asked her to step outside with me. On our way out and as we were walking down the stairs, I told her I would fight her, but I asked her if it was worth fighting to defend a man who went around grabbing women’s crotches. We started talking and after a while we decided to go to the liquor store. By the end of the night, when Scarface showed up to see if his woman had avenged his honor, he found us both sitting outside – drunk, laughing at him. I honestly couldn’t see myself fighting that girl. I felt bad that she had such a creep for a boyfriend. I hope she dumped him.

In conclusion, I’d say that I deserved my reputation for being aggressive and The Bags were just the perfect vehicle for expressing that aggression and anger onstage. I would have directed it elsewhere and expressed it in another way had it not been for the Bags. It was the best form of therapy I could have hoped for.

more on Accountability

Related Links, Related Reading

A nice archival of printable PDF zines here from the Philly’s Pissed AWG some good content, some a bit meh, but nothing objectionable

Challenging Men, Changing Communities: Reflections on Male Supremacy and Transformative Justice
This is an awesome account of how to build an accountability circle (instead of reporting)

Creative Interventions Toolkit: A Practical Guide to Stop Interpersonal Violence – very long but good!

Supporting a survivor zine (by a Men against Rape Group in the US, very clear)

Healing strategies for survivors (very nice illustrations, just a one pager)

Support New York made this zine about Emotional Abuse in relationships, quite confronting as there are aspects of it we probably all recognise from parts of our lives, but well worth a read!

Detailed ‘So you’ve been called out’ document – specifically for sexual assault and rape

Our accountability handbook:

Salvage resources:

NEON Power & Privilege: A Handbook for Political Organisers:

Models of power sharing:

Organising for Community Accountability:

INCITE! Community Accountability Working Doc:

Safer Party Toolkit:

Sisters Uncut Safer Spaces Policy:


more info from flyers, statistics

PRIORITISESexual assault is much more commonplace than many of us would like to admit. Even in spaces where we feel safe and around people we think we can trust. The likelihood of being assaulted is higher if you are part of an already systemically oppressed group, and higher and higher if you are part of more than one of these groups. Part of that systematic oppression means marginalised people are less likely to be listened or to be believed.

If someone tells you they have been harassed or sexual assaulted, the most productive thing to do is listen to them. Believe them. Take it seriously. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, mental health stigmas can also play into the abuse, so don’t minimise this. Give the person time and space to speak. Trauma causes inconsistencies, focus on that person’s safety and let them decide how to proceed.

Conviction rates for rape are far lower than for other crimes, with crime statistics estimating the number of actual rapes is six times greater than what is reported. Of that small percentage who do recieve custodial sentences, less than 13% are BAME. While 27% of callers to Rape Crisis are BAME. White supremacy has a lot to answer for but we can’t let white supremacy and misogny further endanger WOC or any marginalised groups.


  • 1 in 5 women aged 16 – 59 has experienced some form of sexual violence since the age of 16 *(A)
  • Approximately 90% of those who are raped know the perpetrator prior to the offence*(A)
  • 95 per cent of all Rape Crisis service users were female *(A)
  • Where ethnicity is known, 27% of Rape Crisis services users were Black or Minority Ethnic, an increase from 23% in 2014-15 *(A)
  • 23% of all service users identified as Disabled *(A)
  • males accounted for the vast majority of offenders found guilty for sexual offences (99.0%) *(B)
  • 1,487 (97.1%) Where ethnicity is known, sexual offenders cautioned were 4.7 per cent were Black (compared with 7.5%); 6.1 per cent were Asian (compared with 5.2%); 1.4 % were of ‘other’ ethnicity. *(B)
  • Only around 15% of those who experience sexual violence choose to report to the police *(A)
  • “It is widely recognised that rape is under-reported, with many more rapes committed than are reported to and recorded by the police.” Crime statisticians estimate that the number of actual rapes is about six times greater, which if true would mean that the proportion of people actually convicted for rape is tiny. *(C)
  • Conviction rates for rape are far lower than other crimes, with only 5.7% of reported rape cases ending in a conviction for the perpetrator. (Kelly, Lovett and Regan, A gap or a chasm? Attrition in reported rape cases, 2005) *(A)
  • July 2011, Crown Prosecution Services
    For a period of 17 months there were 5,651 prosecutions for rape and 111,891 for domestic violence (117,542 total). 35 prosecutions for making false allegations of rape, 6 for false allegation of domestic violence and 3 for false allegations of both rape and domestic violence (44 total). The report shows that a significant number of these cases involved young, often vulnerable people. About half of the cases involved people aged 21 years old and under, and some involved people with mental health difficulties. In some cases, the person alleged to have made the false report had undoubtedly been the victim of some kind of offence, even if not the one which he or she had reported. *(D)
  • 14% of population is BAME *(E)
  • we don’t need to protect BAME men from rape accusations because they aren’t in danger of going to prison (the 13%)
    we do need to protect BAME women because they are being assaulted at a higher rate than the whites (27%)


(A) Rape Crisis England & Wales headline statistics 2015-16

(B) An Overview of Sexual Offending in England and Wales

(C) The report (by Crown Prosecution Services released Oct 13 2016,

(D) Crown Prosecution Services


Dr Lovesex or; how I learned to stop worrying about male ejaculation and love myself

calendar, News, Related Links, Related Reading

March 10th 2017, part of the Sisterhood In Print Festival
Sisterhood Festival

‘Golden trio’ of moves boosts chances of female orgasm, say researchers

It’s Time To Stop Policing Black Women’s Sexual Expression
“My orgasm is the biggest fuck you to white supremacy ever.”


How a 3D clitoris will help teach French schoolchildren about sex

Yes, you can be non-binary AND a woman | Riley J. Dennis (video)

OMGyes (videos & interactive)

Misogyny on-line

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we don’t agree with everything in these articles but they bring up some really interesting points so we’ll post with that disclaimer

How the alt-right’s sexism lures men into white supremacy

‘Beta Males’ Want To Kill Women Because They Can’t Get Laid

The impact of porn culture on girls is too big to ignore

We need to talk about the online radicalisation of young, white men

Think It’s #NotAllMen? These 4 Facts Prove You’re Just Plain Wrong

Spitting out the Red Pill: Former misogynists reveal how they were radicalised online

Male Privilege

Related Links, Related Reading, Related Videos

The math problem that stumped thousands of mansplainers – (video) what happens when the woman with the world’s highest IQ answers a math question.

Competent women are getting bypassed by overconfident men – (video) I’d say to men, just listen and provide support and encouragement rather than nudge women as she sort of suggests. Just believe in women, to help provide the support so they can believe in themselves

The misogyny apocalypse: Turns out being white and male counts for more than intelligence, grace or decency – This is so painfully true. It’s true of the left who rallied against her too. Campaigned for abstinence and third party voting. Tirelessly highlighted her mistakes while ignoring the everyday racism, misogyny, rape culture, ableism, transphobia, homophobia they were helping to empower in trump. Let’s not kid ourselves. Misogyny won. It’s not a time to organise. We can’t do that until we unpack the misogyny, dismantle the patriarchy within our own communities

Dear White, Straight, Cisgender, Man People: You Are Privileged – male privilege from a male’s perspective

Think It’s #NotAllMen? These 4 Facts Prove You’re Just Plain Wrong